I don’t want to travel down this long road. It’s too many miles away from home. But you left me here all alone, to remember our times we shared and the memories and plans that we made. Now I’m fighting this war on my own. You could've told me I was wasting my time. I thought you meant it when you said you cared. Oh wait, that was me. Cold brick walls have never been more comfortable, the softness of the stone against my cheek. Every night when I feel you lying next to me, I wake up from that impossible dream. Why can't I breathe anymore? Is it because I miss your intoxicating presence suffocating me? Your voice became a drug, arresting my soul, captivating my spirit. Every single time I try to forget you, there you are, throwing my head into every emotion that I can imagine. The rollercoaster I’ve tried to avoid for so long, due to my constant sickness. Is it because you’re my adrenaline? Do I crave the pain you bring me? The heartache seems to no longer be worth it, yet I stay so close. At any moment you ask for me, I’ll still be here. I wait for you to bring me back my heart you’ve kept for so long. My longing for you will make me blind to your flaws, numb to your abuse, and sensitive to your love. No one will ever grasp why I hold onto you.. but then again, neither will I.
KJC
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