investment or gamble?

To invest is to devote all time, effort, power, energy, and previous knowledge ensuring an outcome: an investment. To invest that same time, effort, power, energy and knowledge into an outcome of chance would be considered a gamble, in which you are ensured nothing. Dancers, actors, singers, etc. devote their lives to something that is unsure. They live for the gamble. They create a pathway for merely touching their dream. While some achieve their lifelong aspiration by purely knowing the right people or being at the right place at the right time, other dreamers fall short of their goal. They gamble everything they have on this one career, only to have a slim shot at succeeding. Why do they risk it? Because it’s their passion; it’s what they were born to do. My “investment” in academic success is a minute one compared to the gamble of the passionate. My reasoning? I have a fear: a fear of pursuing my passion. My investment to college is not one in the slightest compared to many of my peers. My aspiration of a degree is one that was placed on me by society. In no way do I hope to be a collegiate intellectual. I aspire to be molded by my journey in search of reaching my artistic dreams. I wish badly to have the strength to gamble myself in the artistic life from which my fears have kept me. My heart longs to be acting and dancing in the world of the unknown; a world that I am not guaranteed a paycheck to get me to the next bill. Instead of being where my heart wants to be, I am “investing” my time here because of a blatant fear. I do believe that it is important to be educated, for a mountainous struggle to an uneducated man may seem insignificant to his opposite. Nevertheless, I believe that education can only bring you so far into reaching what you long for in life. I myself have not “invested” anything but time here. I do not wish to be a graphic designer in my heart, but those in society have led me to believe that you will go nowhere in life by following your heart. They have told me that you need money to be successful, a job to have money, and an education to have a job. As much as I would like to believe that, I disagree with society. Conversely, They have put a bind on my heart and mind that I can go nowhere significant by pursuing my acting career. I have been told that only slight portions of those who try indeed succeed. I have seen the struggles of working class minus the degree first hand, and the lengths they have traveled to get to the place that they are. I have also seen those who appear happy in their chosen career that college has brought forth for them. An investment was made, and it was fulfilled. Investing involves risk. I applaud those who have risked loans to pursue an education. For they cannot be certain they’ll make it out with a diploma in one hand and a career in the other in order to repay them. Loans alone are a risk for no matter what the outcome of a college experience is, they must be returned. I, however, cannot even allow myself to say I am making a risk financially. I am here on scholarship, paid for by Nicholls State University to achieve the sanctified piece of cardstock placed inside a polished vinyl case at the end of my four years. The sanctified vinyl covered cardstock is more liable to assure you financial stability. People think that money can buy happiness and in no way do I agree. I believe in the gamble; throwing your all into something that you cannot ensure. All in all, my investment does not exist. I wish to gamble. I wish to make something of myself that I will be proud of. Curse the fear that rules my actions. If it were not for this fear, perhaps I could gamble my life away and create my story. The one I wish to tell over and over. I wish for my gambling to become an addiction; something my body thrives on. I have no desire to pursue a lifelong investment into something I am not passionate about. In my world, investments mean security, safety, and a guided path. I wish to break my fears and insecurities, walk down the path less traveled and honor my hearts wishes. My ambition is not to be wealthy in currency, but wealthy in the pleasure of my success.

KJC