sometimes the world takes you by surprise
you live everyday in fear of the unknown...
why does it have to be fear?
i live everyday excited for the adventure i'm about embark on..
whether its merely trying a new food, meeting a new person, or putting your shoes on in the opposite order of your normality.. its new, its different, and it can open your eyes to a new adventure, one that you never thought you'd see or stumble upon.
as i sit here for the second time, hopefully of many, i explore past the pale blue pigmentation of the afternoon's blissful and unflawed sky, and notice the behavior of those around me..
to them i am a nameless face with a lit cigarette and a purple hat thoughtlessly peering through my spotted glasses at their gossiping sun-kissed faces.
to them i am a peer..
another face in the crowd and another student, waiting for class to begin.
what they don't know is how i have dreams. i have aspirations, and as i sit here observing their lives, i ponder my future.
he lays there in the sun, not a care in the world about what he must do next, or maybe those thoughts rush through his mind, but his grinning face leaves me believing that he has no worries. his hands neatly folded on his shallow chest, sleeping peacefully. he is happy.
he dances like a buffoon, with the only goal to be making his friends laugh, trying to impress a girl ? or does he already have her? did he win her with his unrhythmic and patternless footwork? or perhaps she sees past his boyish figure and looks to his eyes, seeing the mere joy he gets from causing that smile that slowly grows across her windburned lips. he is happy.
who will i be?
who will know, or not care for me?
who will love me, who will i care for?
questions that will forever bounce through the disconnected and tangled wires of my mind.
i do not envy the thoughtless mind.
i do not wish to not have dreams.
i do not want to forever be content with who i become.
i wish to continue with my dreams, whether they are reached or not.
why should they be reached? once they are reached i admit completion, and i don't want my life to have a completion, if we all stopped thinking, dreaming, and contemplating, who would then create? who would then invent the world of our future, and the art works for others to question?
my balding and bearded professor made me think today.. as should all, but not all do.
at first i thought that these professors, causing us to look at painting after painting discussing what the artist was thinking as he used geometric shape to map out their plans, were just bullshitting us to believe that there was a point beyond paint on a canvas.. but as my overly worded professor made me realize today, we create the meaning. we create the point. we INTERPRET. the artist did not sit down with a pattern or a meaning in his head. he saw an awkward woman and asked her to sit still, but still presently fidgeting, and decided it was a moment worth capturing.
it was then, as we discussed her misshapen hands that it hit me, art, be it music, painting, drawing, lyrics of poetry, is meant to provide an idea for its viewers/listeners. the artist did have an idea in mind, but just one, maybe two. however, any observer will create their own. and that my friends, is what art is about. PERSONAL INTERPRETATION.
whoever reads this, depending on their choice of study, or their brains habitual reasoning and ways of interpretation. they will see and read what they choose.
an english major may see my grammatical errors; a misused comma, how i would be lost without spell check, a misspelled word, or even how there is in no way a sentence structure, rhyme or reason..
an art major may look at the lines and see how the spaces between and breaks in the page can create a seen or a portrait of its own.
a music major may see notes and sustained beats.
they made read in a rhythmic pattern.
one may even see a song or lyrical capability.
others may see just a story. a page written by a girl in a green sweatshirt on a break in between classes writing her thoughts for her day.
i only meant it for me.
my interpretation is so i can look back and see how i've changed. my outlooks, my dreams, my thoughts on class, my inspirations.
this is me. coffee in one hand, phone in another.
not conscious of those around me, just my music, caffein and nicotine. the ladder of which my mother does not approve. she's still on the fence about the caffein.
